Tags: l lawliet

DD - Raenef: in blue

Spirituality, & my first fanfic in AGES...

Okay. So, I don't usually discuss spirituality, mostly because the ulta-conservative bigots have soured me on hearing other people talk about spirituality (& its wayward sister, religion), but a post a musician I admire made on his myspace page today inspired me to write a little. To get it all down, & here, where people seem to sometimes read what I write.


I believe in God. A God. But the Bible, the restrictions people place on each other, the Pope - no. Not for me. I don't judge anyone who believes those things, or anything - we're all just trying to make our way in the world & figure out the impossible-to-figure-out, so why should I judge you for coming to a different conclusion than me? - but after listening to the way some people twist the Bible, after reading its contradictions... I can't believe in something written by men, I can't trust that it came from God.

And on a different tangent, I really dislike that, since I grew up going to church on Sundays, it took me years to understand that Jesus Christ was not God. The way they talked about him, I thought he was. And isn't that like worshipping a false idol? God is God. Jesus is not God. He was, if you believe the church's teachings, God's son, but that still doesn't make him God. I'm honestly curious - was it just my church that seemed to confuse the issue? Or did anyone else with a slightly religious background ever have this problem?

Anyway, the true point to this post is... I believe in God. I do. But lately - no, not just lately; for years now - I keep hearing about how this church teaches this & that teaches that & none of them seem to want to admit that if we all are made from God than being gay is okay... Which is, to be honest, one of my foremost concerns when discussing spirituality with people. I believe that you are born you, that being gay is natural, & that God intended His children to turn out exactly like they did; gay, straight, transgendered, bisexual, asexual, pansexual... They're all just words we created to segregate ourselves. I don't believe for one second that God sits up there in Heaven going, "Oh, there goes Timmy, my gay son." I think it's more along the lines of, "That's Timmy, my son."

And why am I rambling about this, you ask? Because. Ever since I started understanding the bigotry gay people face that's supposedly based in religion (it's not, really, but that's a rant for another night), and hearing the stories about how this church forced out its gay members and that one won't let women preach and this whole, huge organization covered up the widespread sexual abuse of children (you all know what I'm talking about)... Ever since then, I have been ashamed of my faith. Not because I belong to any particular sect or belief system, because I don't. Not because I participated in any bigoted acts, because I never have and never ever will. But because other people who believe in God, as I do, have used their belief to countenance terrible things, things that are hurtful and cruel and shameful.

But I'm tired of being ashamed. I'm tired of skirting the issue when it comes up. So I'm done hiding my face.

Hello. My name is Ghost. And I believe in God.

...

I wrote lyrics about this very idea once. I'm paraphrasing, but I believe it went something like:

I don't believe as you do
'Cause your God isn't my God, too


Crude, I know. But I was very young.

Now then. I've a new fandom, & a new fanfic to share. Hopefully, writing & posting this will wake up my comatose EEnE muse, & I can finish StM before the readers gather together & come after me with torches & pitchforks. :)

Fandom: Death Note
Pairing/Characters: Light Yagami/L Lawliet
Rating: (A very light) T
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from Death Note. I wish I did. Heh.
Summary: It was easy, too easy, to love Light Yagami.
SPOILER WARNING: This story is a one-shot that deals (in vague terms) with up to & sorta including episode 25 of the anime.

Anyway, enjoy. Peace, all.

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:D (cross-posted a zany amount of places)